My reality before reality

Before I get to the nitty-gritty I would like to share a little background information. I am 33 years old and a proud father of three beautiful girls. My oldest is my step daughter (even though, I despise the word step) and she just turned eleven years old! Her mother and I met in 2005 when she was only four years old and we have been happily married since May of 2006.  A household that started with three has quickly grown to five! We have enjoyed our little house all these years but that will soon change a we transition into our new home at the end of this summer!

Being the father of three girls is challenging at times but the positives far exceed the negatives and I wouldn’t change any of it. When my wife (Mandy) gave birth to our first child I remember thinking that we were definitely going to have a boy. Obviously, I was wrong on that prediction but  I recall my great-grandmother sharing a story with me a few weeks before my daughters birth that I’ll never forget. The story explains that years ago my great-grandfather was also hopeful for a little whippersnapper (aka Boy). However, my great granny recounts that the minute he laid eyes on his newest prized possession he whispered in her ears….”Thelma (my great-grandmother) I wouldn’t trade her for a whole barrel of boys.”

That story is extra special to me because if there is one memory that will last a lifetime for me it’s the day my daughter was born.  I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I held her for the first time.  I recall the day being filled with emotion.  In fact, it was the first time in my life that I couldn’t help but cry with happiness. And of course the minute that my great granny came in to visit her great-great granddaughter I said “Granny,I wouldn’t trade her for a barrel of boys!”

Life can come full circle at times and that day was special. To me, it’s those moments that define what’s truly important in life. They are moments you can’t get back.  

Not long after my wife and I had a second daughter together and I was once again blessed with the opportunity to experience another magical birth.  The second time around there were a few less tears but it was equally special.

The sad part of my story is that I recently found out that I am also a father to a son.  My blog will tell my story and my hope is that one day my story will have a happy ending.  My frustration is in no way directed at the adoptive parents but the adoptive process in general.  It brings tears to my eyes to know that there is a little boy out there that is wondering about me and my goal is to hopefully gain the respect of his parents and share my story.

~ Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.



One Comment on “My reality before reality”

  1. jodilee0123 May 2, 2012 at 1:44 pm #

    I will be praying for you and your family. As an adoptive mother, I wonder what I will tell my children when they want to meet their birthfathers. All my kiddos have open relationships with their birthmothers. I know, the teminology is more of a definition so we know who we are talking about…I too, feel awkward and out of place with it. All of the birthfathers do know about their children, something we wanted to be sure about before we said yes to the situation–for reasons just as this. You are in my heart and I hope you get to meet him soon!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: