A proud Momma’s Boy on Mother’s Day!

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren
    If you aren’t aware of my story https://4murphyslaw.wordpress.com/ then you might not realize that I represent a class within a class in the world of open adoption. I represent birth fathers but I also represent birth fathers who had no idea that they were birth fathers. I have sought the advice of many in how to deal with this challenging situation but the support and guidance that my mom has given me been is priceless. When I am hurting, she is hurting and it’s been that way since day one. She doesn’t help me because she wants something in return, she helps me because she is my mom and that is the only way she knows. The last couple weeks have been especially challenging. I have been curious about the adoptive parents and their reaction once they receive my letter. Knowing that you have absolutely zero control over a situation in which you care so deeply about is very stressful. I have done my best to remain optimistic and hope for the best but after time it can be easy to start having doubts.  My mom knew that the days were starting to wear on me and she encouraged me to put everything in Gods hands and let him take over. Well wouldn’t you know it, just one day after those words of wisdom I received an email from the adoptive parents agreeing to meet and my wife!
     This is a start and yet another small step in this continuous process and I find it fitting that this positive news can be shared on Mothers Day. However, It’s important to me that I recognize the adoptive mom as well.  I admire her for allowing this possibility to take place.  My hope is that her Mothers Day is filled with love and joy.
   I wonder so much about that little boy and I wonder if he is a Momma’s Boy like me.
Growing up I used to hate being labeled as a “Momma’s Boy”, yet today, years later… I take great pride in that phrase. To me, a “Momma’s Boy” is a boy or man who knows and appreciates the love that is given to him by his Mom. He is wise enough to know that sometimes the instincts and emotions of a man need the softness and wisdom of a mother.  A Momma’s Boy knows when he has done wrong, as well as knowing when to stick up for himself and fight for what is right.
I am a Momma’s Boy and proud of it.  I dedicate this blog to my Mom because she has been there for me since day one. She has helped me take this process one step at a time. She has told me to let go and let God take over in when you have no control.   The only bad part is that she wasn’t able to edit this post for me!
Thank you mom for your love and support and for joining in my journey. Happy Mothers Day.



14 Comments on “A proud Momma’s Boy on Mother’s Day!”

  1. justmargaret May 13, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

    Happy Mothers Day to your Mom and your son’s adoptive mom as well!

    I found your blog via Jenna, and am so glad I did. I’m so sorry about the situation you are in. Having zero control has got to be excruciating.


    • amurphy17 May 14, 2012 at 1:37 am #

      Thanks justmargaret and Happy Mothers Day to you as well and I truly appreciate your support.

  2. justmargaret May 13, 2012 at 9:49 pm #

    Happy mothers day to your M and your sons adoptive mom.

    I found your blog via Jenna Hatfield and am so glad I did. Having no control is excruciating and my heart goes out to you.

    Thank you for sharing your story…

    • justmargaret May 13, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

      That’s “your Mom” 🙂 darn auto correct

      • amurphy17 May 14, 2012 at 1:37 am #

        Don’t worry, I do that all the time!

    • amurphy17 May 18, 2012 at 11:54 am #

      Thank you Margaret!

  3. I_am May 13, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

    Everything about this post is fantastic! I’m SO glad you hear you finally have some good news to share. It would be an odd woman indeed who wouldn’t be open to a relationship based on sentiments like this:
    “I admire her for allowing this possibility to take place. My hope is that her Mothers Day is filled with love and joy.”

    And thanks for your thoughts on being a “momma’s boy”.

    • amurphy17 May 14, 2012 at 1:35 am #

      Thanks so much for the support I_am. I am glad that you enjoyed the post and hope that I can continue to share good news. Have a great evening.

  4. P. Gardiner May 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm #

    My thoughts are with you on this journey. I have a twisted journey on my daughter’s adoption as well. We are in contact with the bio-grandparents as well as the remaining bio-parent (one is deceased) and the two other households that have half-siblings. Not all adoptive families are interested in contact, and it takes trust and time for everyone to feel comfortable. I imagine it will be hard for the child in this case too, especially if the story of his first family has changed. That’s a lot of reality to settle in, finding out your origins are not your origins. Probably not unlike people who find out later in life that they were adopted. I wish you all the best on your journey, he’ll probably appreciate your situation a lot more as an adult. One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given on our situation, was this:
    Remember that everything you do, you will have to explain to them as an adult one day.
    It definitely colored my actions and helped me do my best to keep connections that were difficult.

    • amurphy17 May 15, 2012 at 3:53 am #

      Thank you. I will take that advise and wish you well with your situation.

      Take care

  5. J.J. May 18, 2012 at 11:28 am #

    Such great news! And so well said about being a Momma’s Boy 🙂 you’ve always been great! Your parents did a great job raisin you guys an you’ve carried through becoming a great husband and fantastic father making them so proud. Sending big hugs your way!

  6. Sarah May 18, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    So pleased to hear that they are at least open to meeting with you and your wife, and my hope is that you and they can trust enough to build this relationship up for the sake of all of you.

  7. LLM June 27, 2012 at 4:09 am #

    I am so proud of the love, devotion, and patience you have shown towards everyone involved in this situation. It has not been an easy road, but I know good things are just around the corner. You are a loving father and a wonderful son. You have always been a blessing in my life.
    Love you forever, like your for always

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